I’ve noticed something about myself.
You can usually tell what version of me I’m in by looking at me.
My clothes change. My hair changes. My nails change. Even the colors I’m drawn to change.
And I don’t think I’ve ever really done it on purpose.
It just happens.
When I’m feeling softer, I dress softer. When I’m feeling confident, maybe there’s a little more skin. When I’m focused, suddenly everything gets cleaner and simpler. Sometimes I want long hair and pretty nails. Other times I want everything pulled back, short, neutral and out of my way.
It’s funny because people talk about finding your “personal style” like eventually you’re supposed to figure it out and stay there.
I don’t think mine works like that.
The way I look has always moved with me.
It reflects how I’m feeling, what I’m interested in, who I think I am at that moment — and sometimes, maybe even who I’m becoming.
That’s probably why I’ve never been very interested in wearing something just because everyone else is wearing it.
Of course I notice trends. I’m a girl. I see something cute and I want it too.
But whether it actually makes it onto my body is another story.
It has to feel right right now.
Lately, right now looks like black. Cream. White. Neutrals.
Beautiful trousers. A fitted top. An oversized blazer. Good denim. A simple dress. Gold jewelry. Great sunglasses.
My hair pulled back. Clean nails. Less going on.
Let me be the interesting part of the outfit.
Maybe six months from now I’ll want something completely different.
And honestly, I hope I do.
Because I don’t want to dress like the woman I decided I was five years ago just because I once called that my “style.”
I want to leave room for her to change.
Maybe getting dressed like yourself has less to do with finding your style and more to do with knowing yourself a little better.
Knowing what you feel beautiful in.
Knowing what you’ll actually wear.
Knowing when something is gorgeous but simply not for you.
And being completely okay with leaving it on the rack.
I’m still figuring out what deserves a permanent place in my closet. But I know I’m getting closer because lately, when I get dressed, I feel less like I’m trying on a look—
and more like myself.
— Perla ER